Doesn't get much better than this

My teammates are freaking awesome. I have never met such amazing ladies and I have never had so much fun. It just blows my mind. We are the most random assortment of people that somehow just mesh together as if we were each meant to be on this very team at this very time. It is so crazy to me how things work out this way! We all enter the team as different people - all with different backgrounds, experiences, beliefs, and ways of doing things - but as time goes on, we actually mold together . At some point during our tenure here we let down our barriers and expose ourselves to the system and experience that is Lehigh basketball. This is where change, growth, and chemistry are born. We each bring all of our past experiences and personalities to the table, and take part in a huge game of exchanging and dealing all of our unique cards between each other. When the game is over, we leave with a new hand that is better than the first for the simple fact that it contains a little piece of everyone. Now when the time comes for us all to go our separate ways, we will have a small portion of each other to carry along wherever we go. The special bonds we formed along the way will not erase, nor can they, because we have etched them into each and every one of us. I love this!

I am so lucky to share a small chunk of time with these wonderful ladies and be able to realize early in my too-short career that this is something I should savor every minute of. Each year we have to say goodbye to a few key pieces of our group, and the time we shared with them becomes just a memory. BUT the cool thing about memories is that they last. I will always remember the times we laughed until it hurt, the times we cried and thought that things would never get better, the times we partied because we were champions and that's what champions do, the times our bodies hurt so bad that it just wasn't worth it to get out of bed, and all the times we spent hugging, smiling, and just enjoying each other. This snapshot of my life will live with me forever because it changed me forever. I've learned to be more optimistic, more compassionate, more outgoing, more loving, less selfish, and a whole lot more fun because that is exactly what the women around me were like.

This is why I'm so grateful I stuck it out through the tears and sorrow that is freshman year. I think that was a necessary initiation to see if I deserved the blessings I was about to receive. They are just too special to give to anyone, and for some amazing reason my feet stayed glued to the ground until I was able to see just how fortunate I was to share a space of time with these 15 other people. I cannot WAIT to see where these next two years take me (and the rest of this one!) and let me tell you I am excited. I only hope that I can be just as great to these lovely ladies as they have been to me, and maybe, just maybe, help them to feel even a portion of the love I feel for them.

This truly is a beautiful experience we all get to go through, an experience that is neither perfect or easy, but one that can lead to amazing amazing things. As my wonderful teammate Kristen Dalton put it:

There is no mathematical way to go about this. There is no conclusion to draw here. There is no formula that guarantees good friendships. There is only the coming back to, where our lines overlap and intersect and move harmoniously across our days. We can call this a rhythm. Or we can call it a blessing, the great friendships of this adventure.

Love actually is all around

What is love? This has been the pressing question on one of my teammate's mind recently and a question that I wanted to find an answer to. Although I have never experienced love in a relationship before (sigh), I have indeed felt its presence in many forms. And because, as a human, I have the capacity to love another in the highest form, I think that also gives me the ability to imagine it and the right to write about it. Also, after watching Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility and still finding myself trapped in 17th century England with British accents lingering in my head, it only seems fitting.

Love is the most mysterious of things because it doesn't seem controllable; it is something that springs up out of the corners of our hearts and soon takes over our entire body in a much too short amount of time. Is this meant to happen? Are we perhaps being told by some greater force that we are to love a certain person even if there is no rational reason for doing so? This idea troubles me for the simple fact that sometimes love is anything but the positive emotion contained within its definition. Sometimes (a lot of the time), love is hard. Love can hurt. Love can bruise. Love can torment. Why?? Why is the deepest emotion contained within the human heart allowed to hurt and uplift all at the same time? I just can't fathom how this can possibly be the case or how this is at all fair.

Then it dawned on me. Love can surely hurt and sting, but it might still be able to keep its good name. I started reading My Spiritual Journey, a semi autobiography on the current Dalai Lama (it was an amazing experience and a wonderful life decision by the way, one I will have to elaborate on in another day) and learned about love in its simplest, purest form. One main point the Dalai Lama made was that in life the most important lessons we learn and our greatest stages of growth are often found in times of hardships. Our friends - if they are indeed true friends - surely do not provide us hardships and therefore can not be counted on to help us in this area. But our enemies, they do a WONDERFUL job of testing us, hurting us, and throwing curveballs our way; and for this, we should love them. They are the ones who make us question who we are, what we stand for, and what we want to become. They are the ones who give us the greatest opportunities for growth, and we should not show any anger or hostility towards them, but rather love them all the more for this.

If this is indeed the case, that we grow the most from hardships and trying situations, well maybe then that is why love is sometimes hard, a struggle even. It would only make sense that the deepest emotion found within human hearts, an emotion that can take us to the highest of highs and the lowest of loves, would have the greatest potential to help us change for the better. When we are forced to wander through the deep valleys of a lost, unfound, or unrequited love, we walk a path that leads to personal insights and a deeper connection with the pure human being inside of us all. The human being that in its most basic form yearns for happiness. When we get to this most basic state, we feel a greater connection with ourselves, and the people around us who are all looking for the same thing. This in turn harvests a deeper love for those around us or the sole person who walked the path beside us.

Love, then, is one great eternal round. Something that goes through cycles of good and bad in a resounding rhythm that keeps the world spinning. Something that has the ability to bring the best out of anyone it touches and inspire them to do more for those around them. Something that enhances every other emotion and cuts to the very core of the human heart. Love is something that we should all look to find and harvest in our own lives for it is indeed the beginning and the end of human existence. Love is the fuel of life.

Thank you life

In the spirit of Thanksgiving and general gratitude for this amazing month of November, I decided to jot down a few of the things I am grateful for. There are so many things that go unnoticed or that just don't come to mind at this particular point in time, but I feel this list will do. I'm going to follow in Jimmy Fallon's footsteps and write thank you cards to the things I am grateful for...

Thank you, cozy bed, for being so cozy right now and keeping me warm every night.

Thank you, right achilles, for not hurting me like your sister, the left achilles, or I might have to cut you both off and start anew.

Thank you, Mom and Dad, for putting up with my "rebelliousness" and loving/supporting me through thick and thin. I love you.

Thank you, Kendal, for helping me cultivate my love for Harry Potter, Nsync, Taylor Swift, the Giants, and for laughing. You helped raise me and you were always there when I needed you to help or just have fun with. I love you.

Thank you, Kaley, for being the best friend in the whole world and knowing me better than I know myself. I know I can tell you anything and you will still love me. Thank you for helping me be better and always making me smile. I love you.

Thank you, San Francisco Giants, for being freaking awesome and becoming champions of the world. Thattababe.

Thank you, LUWB, for making my college experience amazing, helping me loosen up, and have more fun than imaginable. You are my sisters and I love you.

Thank you, metablolism, for metabolizing all the junk I eat every day - including the four desserts I had last night. Without you I would be 500 pounds.

Thank you, brownies, for being so darn delectable day in and day out. Your consistency is mouthwatering.

Aright, enough of the thank you notes, and on with the last thank yous. I am thankful for this wonderful life that I have been given. I am learning more and more every day and I am very grateful for the thoughtfulness I have been given to think and ponder about every detail of life (even to a potentially unhealthy degree) because it has allowed me to learn more about the things around me and about myself. I am thankful that life can change so quickly. One blessing/opportunity can change everything; if you keep your faith and optimism, things WILL work out and life WILL be good. God is always there for you and has a plan for you to fulfill. These are two great things I am grateful for.

So, on this Thanksgiving, just try to reflect on all you have and all the happy things in your life. If this doesn't work, just think of me, and the fact that I will be 3000 miles from home playing the two-time defending national champion UConn Huskies. Yeah, your Thanksgiving is better. No, but in all seriousness I am very grateful for the 15 other girls and coaches I have to spend my Thanksgiving with because they truly are my second family. Happy Thanksgiving!

to act but not to be

How lonely the road is
That leads to somewhere you have never been.
Winding its way further into a mysterious Place,
A Place that begins and ends with one Face.

A Face that captivates. It mystifies.
Drawing the sight of unsuspecting eyes.
It seems so present, so tauntingly alive.
If only you could just let it be. Let it die.

But the image is burned in the back of your mind
No matter if it is something you should not try to find.
Heartache, emptiness, and shame
Must be the results of walking such a way.

So, naturally, you must continue on,
Trying to sing yourself a happier song.
Thoughtlessly you continue down the road
As it leads you farther and farther from home.

It is the Fireworks along the way
That keep your feet from turning astray.
Unrecognized and unsuspected
You go along without being detected.

There is a thought of being found
If only from your silent footprints on the ground.
It is a shame there is no real guarantee
In searching to act but not to be.

You. Just You.

Walking in the middle of a street never seems to be such a good idea. Unfortunately, that’s often where I find myself: toeing the line between something and something else. Never really sure if I should go one way, or the other, and often taking the safer, more comfortable path in the middle. Sure, I have fun heading east for a time, met some new people, have some fun adventures, gain new stories to tell, and even deciding that yes, heading this direction is what’s for me. But then I try west. And west can be oh so tantalizing. Then my mind is thrown for a loop and everything I planned for and established while walking along the eastern road is gone. Not forever, but in hiding for a time. Because the western road feels so new; so fun; so tempting. It allows more freedom and room for experimenting; but possibly more pain and heartache. Just as I’m enjoying this walk west, I look over to the east and remember the good times we had. What I learned while walking that path, how I felt, and how I was simply different. Then I start to toe that middle line again. Indecision is frustrating. Frustrating and debilitating.

Then it dawned on me. What if we don’t have to pick a path to travel along or a single direction for our journey? Those paths are just the directions that other people traveled: paved by THEIR footsteps along THEIR individual journey. That doesn’t have to be my path. If I want to travel west for some time and then do a few miles east, what’s stopping me? Maybe I’ll even try north and south out, see what they’re like. I can do things my way and make it work. Not be confined by the width of a path or direction of the trail. Even if I end up crossing over thousands of times, taking two steps this way and two steps that way, ending up exactly where I started, I’d be ok with that. I would be a completely different person, understanding more about myself and why I do what I do, think the way I do, and want the things I want. Finding out the why is the key; and then finding confidence in who you are through it.

Then again, I'm just a 19 year old with little experience and little -albeit increasing- knowledge of just who I am. Man I hate that. Oh well, I'll just keep traveling west for a while with a smile on my face and an open heart and mind. Maybe I'll come across something interesting.

Bigger and better things

In relation to my last post and my mentality towards my injury, here is a wonderful idea by C.S. Lewis who is such an amazing writer and person. Please enjoy and ponder:

Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.

Woe is me? Oh, no please!

Injuries are tricky business. Just when you think everything is going right, you're feeling great, playing really well at practice, finally looking like you know how to play basketball (ok, this might be just specific to me), and then, all of a sudden, you can't anymore. Why? Because of a tiny tendon in your body that sends a stabbing pain up your leg with every step and prevents you from running, cutting, or jumping; things that are sometimes necessary in basketball. This is what happened to me a few days ago when I hurt my Achilles tendon during practice after a stint with Achilles tendinitis that just decided to turn from a minor stiffness to a debilitating injury. I should mention that we are at the point in the season where we are all fighting for playing time and competing to make each other better and set the foundation for our team. Perfect timing, huh?

The thing I have come to learn though, is you have to take things like this in stride and trust that you will be just fine. Perhaps it was even meant to happen. As many times as I have said "Woe is me" and sulked about a poor situation I was in, it never got any better and 99% of the time, I realized I wasn't in such a bad state at all, often seeing the benefits of my "poor" situation. God works in mysterious ways and requires that you put your faith in Him and know that He will lead you in the right direction (whether you know it or not). This does not get you off the hook though to merely have faith. As a close friend always says, you have to pray as though you sincerely believe the Lord will help you and act and live as though it is all up to you. In other words, I have to do my part to heal, stay positive, and strengthen myself, and God will do the rest. Sounds like a pretty fair deal to me.

So although I must currently gimp around in a truly attractive walking boot to nurse my crippled Achilles tendon, I haven't given up. I haven't quit. There's so much time still to prove myself and get better! Heck, maybe I'll even see that this was for the better. So, chin up, confidence high, and eyes facing the future. Besides, it's kind of cool that I have to deal with the same injury as a Greek God and War hero. I can live with that.

I left my heart in san francisco...

I just want to use my blog to vent about my love for the San Francisco Giants (I have to specify the city because too many on the East Coast get confused with those football playing Giants of NY). If you are a Braves, Phillies, or, heaven forbid, Dodgers fan, I apologize (well, not the the Dodgers) but here we go. I LOVE MY GIANTS. Not only do I love the organization, but this team is truly something special. I have never seen this kind of chemistry, personality, and pure talent from any other team; except those who have won the World Series. It may sound crazy that this ragtag group of boys that was pieced together all throughout the season could actually be contending for a World Series championship yet alone win it, but it's real. It's happening. And I couldn't be more pumped.

I have always been a dedicated Giants fan: sticking with them after their heart-breaking, gut-wrenching, stab in the back loss to the Angels in seven games in the 2002 World Series (it hurts to write); cheering as loud as ever even after Barry Bonds...incident with steroids; and trying my best to defend them to obnoxious A's and Dodgers fans the past few years and insist/lie-through-my-teeth that they were the better team despite their abysmal performance on the field. So please don't ever think that I am a bandwagon fan. I love the Giants, I always have and I always will.

However, this year, I love them a little more. Over the summer I started to listen to KNBR (Giants Radio!) daily and really start to follow this little team come together. We are quite lucky in the Bay Area to have such an amazing radio/television network to follow our Giants, and I couldn't be happier that I became a dedicated listener. Kruk and Kuip with John Miller and Dave Flemming; doesn't get much better. Anyways, I started watching games daily, checking the scores, listening to chatter on the radio, and I just LOVED it all. This team did not have a lot of big name stars (they are big names now after their incredible run in the playoffs) and they were just getting it done while having fun.

It was never easy though. The slogan that Kuip came up with for the year that is oh so fitting is...Giants baseball: torture. And it is SO true. No matter how much the Giants are up by (or often how little), they will find a way to make it interesting. Fans bite their lip, pull their hat over their eyes, throw their head back and curse under their breath, as the the Giants let another lead slip away or wait until the last few innings to get going. It may shave a few years off of my life and raise my blood pressure, but I wouldn't have it any other way! That's how this team gets it done, and I'm alright with that.

This postseason has been absolutely amazing. Unfortunately, I had to go to this place called college that dragged me away from the city by the bay and I wasn't able to catch all the action leading up to the Giants' NL West victory (over SD on the last day of the season...you see what I mean by torture??), but I have been flaunting my orange and black as much as possible here in Bethlehem, PA! I've found about four other people too who don their Giants t-shirts, caps, or jackets, and we all wave/smile/nod our heads in approval at one another as we pass by. I love it.

I was happy enough that the Giants won their league and made the playoffs, but now they keep winning. They took down the Braves in 4 which was absolutely amazing because if I heard that chant one more time I would shove those foam tomahawks where the sun don't shine of any Braves fan in the vicinity. Then we got to the two-time defending NLCS champions Phillies, and I won't lie, I was very nervous. I must've forgotten that we are home to the best bullpen in the league and have a young man by the name of CODY ROSS. He has EXPLODED. The man is batting .348, has 7 RBIs, and 4 homeruns (3 in the NLCS alone) and essentially has gotten it done in the clutch with full confidence for the Giants. He is THE MAN. San Francisco will always love him. And now after solid pitching and key performances from just about everyone, as the Fox announcer put it: "The underdog Giants are one win away from the World Series..." Chills.

So, here's a thank you to all of the 2010 Giants: Juan Uuuuribe (game-winning sacfly tonight. awesome.), Freddy Sanchez, Andres Torres, Mike Fontenot, Edgar Renteria, Pablo Kung Fu Panda Sandoval (I don't really hate you even though I might have said it once or twice), Aaron Rowand, Pat Burrell (you're much better off here than in Philly), Timmy (you are just awesome Cy), Matt Cain, Jonathan Sanchez, Madison Bumgarner, Brian Freaking Wilson, Mota, Ramirez, Ishikama (#10), Whiteside, Scheirholtz, Romo, Lopez, Casilla, Affeldt, and of course Aubrey Huff (you and your red thong are amazing) and my personal favorite, Buster Posey (you are just the cutest and so freaking amazing I can't believe it).

You boys are awesome. Keep this going and know that you have the entire city of San Francisco and all the Giants supporters around the world (including a huge fan in Bethlehem, PA!) behind you who believe in you 100%. 5 more wins.

Lightning strikes

On my flight back home to San Francisco the other night, I had quite a unique opportunity to view a thunderstorm above the clouds. It was an incredible thing to see the flashes of lightening below me; a lot less violent and scary than when you are in the storm. It was almost beautiful. It is amazing to view things from a different perspective: especially a perspective different from that of the world's. It was almost divine seeing random, pure bursts of light amidst the foamy rolls of white clouds.
Life can sometimes seem violent, frightening, dangerous even, but if you view these storms above the clouds, you can see how they are more appropriately described as glorious and brilliant! Shaping the people involved, adding bursts of wake-up calls when necessary (more to scare and spark to action than anything else). And like a thunderstorm, once you make it through, which happens 99.9% of the time, you feel refreshed, refined, and more alive than ever.
Life is a constant game of shaping, contorting, sculpting, refining; otherwise how could we progress? We would be locked in one stage and one time, with all of our strengths and talents, but also confined to our imperfections and shortcomings. It is important to view things above the storm and find the purpose of the trial or test you are being put through. It is at this stage that you find out the most about yourself and what you are made of. At the very least you can say you made it through a pretty cool storm and lived to tell the tale.

Life is a Journey

Life is a journey. Discover more about yourself everyday and search for what is really you. Don't be afraid to fail or expose yourself; this is where you can grow the most! Even if you're cut down a little first. You don't have to be unhappy though. You can and should be happy! That's what you're here for. Try new things, test your limits, explore the hidden corners of your heart and mind, and never settle, because that would end the journey! As you learn more about yourself, spread your insights and happiness to others. We're not here alone and we all need to lift hands that hang down and do our best to brighten someone's day. Don't forget to have a little faith either. It's a lot easier to go along the journey knowing you're not alone, and that you're getting some help along the way...especially when things get tough as they're bound to. So smile, be happy, and always look forward with faith and optimism! That's what I'm trying to do.

A place in this great big world

I am entering that phase in my life that most people my age encounter: one where I want to change the world for the better, explore this planet we live in, and find out more about myself along the way. Maybe it's because I'm young and restless. Maybe it's because I have so much future ahead of me that I feel I can afford to take chances. Maybe it's because I've been pent up for over a decade and a half in classrooms. Or maybe it's because there's a little rebel in me that wants to do something outside the norm. Whatever the case, around this age, people just want to do something. Something meaningful. Something great. Something fulfilling! There is just this burning desire to do something that is a little risky, a little neglectful, maybe even a little stupid, but something that is bound to help you find your place in the world.

Entering college one year ago, I had no idea what to do with my life. Now one year older and hopefully wiser, I would love to say I now have direction and a 5-year plan all worked out. In fact, I do not. I was initially on the path towards a medical degree with a major in Behavioral Neuroscience, took a few science and math classes that swayed my thinking (not surprisingly, honestly who wants to sit through six hours of lab every week?), transferred into the business school to pursue finance or economics last semester, toyed with getting back on the biological sciences route and being a teacher (after a rather poor grade on a finance test that crushed my hopes), and now I am thinking I will pursue marketing and management. Talk about a roller coaster. Each time I switched plans/majors/careers, I was SO sure that I was doing what I was supposed to do. Like absolutely positive. I felt such contentment and thought that sounded like such a grand idea and went to bed with a smile on my face. Then, without fail, the next morning I would have a new idea and a new direction. Talk about confusing.

Although I have enough indecision for a whole army of people, I'm optimistic about it. I am not lost. I am a wanderer. I am a seeker. I am someone who wants to find the best possible option and not settle until I do. Do I over-analyze things? Probably, but it brings me to greater clarity and insight. Sometimes I make the wrong decision and have to turn things around and go back to my other option (something that is often painful and taxing), but I learned during the process and I'm better for it.

I think I have so much indecision because I want to do something meaningful. I go through different options in my head that will lead to different scenarios where I find the most fulfillment, but all of them sound so tempting and appealing in their own way it's impossible to decide! I have that antsyness that sprouts up in people who have their whole life ahead of them, and those who don't want to risk wasting the rest of their life in something they lack passion for. There seems to be a defining characteristic with both groups: fulfillment. What am I meant to do? Where am I supposed to be? Where can I help the most?

This leads me to wonder whether we really are meant to do something. I have never been one to believe in fate in the sense that we are not in control of our lives and how we end up, but I do believe that people are destined or lead to do certain things. I like to think that in this life we are meant to search, sometimes in every corner of the world, to find what we are good at, where we can make the most impact, and where we can thrive both internally and externally. We all have been given unique God-given gifts and attributes, we just need to discover what to do with them. I do not believe fulfillment is found in one place either. Whether it be through academia, careers, social relationships, sports, hobbies, social causes, religious affiliations, family relationships, or a combination of many things it matters not, as long as whatever you pursue is entirely you. After all, it really wouldn't be your destiny if it wasn't personal.

This train of thought makes me even more ready to go out and take on the world. I want to know where I belong, what I am meant to do, and where I am needed most. I want to know my destiny. So many people have these same questions and thoughts that God knew He couldn't leave us here alone: we would all end up wandering and seeking for far too many years to do the world any good. That is why I believe special thoughts and insights are dropped along the way for us to grab and put together until we finally make a complete picture of it all. We need times when we are young or middle-aged to step away from the craziness of the world and just stop to look at ourselves and all the pieces of information we have been given. We need to get to know US better: our likes, our dislikes, our talents, our weaknesses. We often find these great pieces of insights when we are not involved in material things, but rather when we are serving others, exploring the world and the beauties of nature, or just stepping away from day-to-day life for a second to take everything in. To be in that peace and quite where we can just listen and think.

I don't know what I am going to do with my life, I don't know where I will be in five years, I don't even know what I am going to MAJOR in. Yet, I don't think of the future as a scary, daunting place, but one filled with potential and a whole lot of great experiences waiting for me. That excites me. I know that if I stay true to myself, pray for insights and opportunities, and try to do all I can to make this world a better place, I will somehow find my place in this great big world.

Au Revoir, Adios, Goodbye

Goodbyes are the worst. I really do not like them. They are so final, absolute, and so brief. Whether it be saying goodbye to a friend, a classmate, a school, a bike, a car, a place, or whatever, I never enjoy it and never feel the goodbye gives the time spent with said person place or thing justice. Maybe this is why I have a problem throwing things away or letting go of things. Currently my dorm room has more things than I know what to do with, as I shove things into any nook or cranny I can find, and a lot of it consists of things I just can't seem to detach from. For example, I keep every movie/play/event stub that I go to because for me it holds a memory (right now I am looking at my Gershwin Theatre ticket stub from when I saw Wicked on Broadway for the first time with Kaley in January). Because I can't seem to part from these little gems, I have little pieces of trash essentially on my desk, in my wallet, or in my drawers. What am I going to do with these things? I don't know, but it's nice to look at them every once in a while and bring a memory to mind. Every time I try to clean my room and determinedly tell myself I am going to be relentless and throw anything I don't need away, I look at these little pieces of garbage or paraphernalia, give a small smile and tilt my head to the side as a memory comes to mind, and put it right back where I found it. By the end of it all, my room is no cleaner and I have no more extra space. Fail.

All of this attachment goes back to the fact that I just hate saying goodbye to anything. In less than a week I am going to move out of my dorm and go back home for the summer (!), and even though my freshman year of college had a lot of memories I'd rather forget and the dorm lifestyle is never the greatest, I'm going to miss my little dorm room of C210. After all, my dorm was alway there for me to come back to and gave me a place to cry or talk to my mom in peace and privacy, allowed me to study in the comfort of my own desk while other students had to deal with the sneezes, coughs, clicking, and chewing of other library-goers, and was my home away from home for the past nine months. Although I can hardly wait to go back to California, I'm going to miss this little dorm and it'll be tough to say goodbye. Not to mention saying goodbye to a year of college in general. This year tested me in just about every area and helped me discover emotions I didn't even know were words let alone existed inside of me. Although a lot of them were bad emotions, I learned from them and grew closer to the other freshmen here with me who are going through the same things. My fellow freshmen teammates would vent for hours about our terrible lives and how wonderful high school was, and in that time we shared laughs and memories and grew together. Sure we'll all still be together as sophomores, but it'll be a little sad to say goodbye to our freshmen year.

Whether it be saying goodbye to my childhood, high school and high school friends (talk about a tearfest right there), or even an old car, I've gone through a lot of goodbyes in my life as anyone has and they're all a little bittersweet. Sure goodbyes can indicate new beginnings and possibilities, but you're always saying adios to a little portion of your life and the things and people that you shared it with. I suppose that's what memories are for: so we can remember the times we shared and not have goodbyes be so absolute. Well, all I can do I guess is live life to the fullest and cherish every moment! That and practice my waving...

Lifestyles of the Young and Reckless

College is an awesome time for a young adult, don't get me wrong. The independence, a great education, new experiences, new places, and new friends, are all wonderful. It's the other side of college that is damaging. After walking in on people having sex in our hall bathroom, seeing drunk people stumble through the streets, hearing offensive music blaring all over campus, and hearing swear words roll off the tongue like they were going out of style, I start to have my doubts about the "college lifestyle." A lifestyle that is self-perpetuating and happens on basically every campus that I've heard of, with mine being the prime example because well, I see everything first-hand. Granted, I know I am conservative and definitely have a different lifestyle than most my age, but these are inherent cultural standards that are being broken here! College lifestyle and colleges themselves are promoting immoral behavior, encouraging drinking (which with young adults is usually binge drinking just to get drunk), pushing sex, and promoting experimenting with anything, everything, and everyone. If the whole world was living like this we would be in deep waters indeed! I'm all for having fun - dancing, spending time with friends, staying up late, driving around town at all hours of the day, and doing the stupid, fun things young adults do - but you have to put SOME limits on yourself. Have a little more respect for your body, your mind, those around you, and the community as a whole.

What I hate seeing the most is girls who take college lifestyle to the extreme. By binge drinking and taking shot after shot after shot, girls put themselves in very vulnerable positions. They may end up going farther than they wanted to with a certain boy, making a fool of themselves in front of a house full of people, or put themselves in incredibly dangerous situations by wandering off, walking home at late hours in a poor state, or taking off with a not so good guy. Also, whether they're drunk or not, college girls (and a lot of older girls as well) throw themselves at boys who are complete JERKS and treat them terribly, but they know they can do whatever they want and the girl will still melt for them because they have a nice body or they're on the right sports team. These boys feel no need to change their ways because why would they if they can get the girl either way? A lot of these boys will treat girls like objects, get what they want out of us, and then move on to the next girl; they feel no need to look for long-term relationships or develop values that will lead to lasting marriages in the future. I heard a quote once which is kind of disturbing but applicable nonetheless: Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free? I do not mean to say by any means that all boys or girls are like this or that they're even the majority, but many students live this way to some extent during their college career and it just makes me sad.

Right now colleges are promoting alternative, unsustainable, damaging lifestyles instead of best preparing students to become moral members of society: stressing things like family values, respect for your body, self control, courteousness, general manners, and good old-fashioned ethics - that sometimes you don't do something not because it is against the law, but because it just wouldn't be right. Just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean you SHOULD. Colleges should promote the idea that girls are worth a little more than just their looks and that they should value their body, treating it with respect and not just giving it up to anyone. They should help boys know how to respect a woman and treat them like ladies, acting more like gentlemen than animals. Yes, a lot of these things should be taught in the home, but our communities and schools can take the bull by the horns as well! If students develop these ideas in college, we will be releasing not only smart, college-educated people into the workforce and general society, but morally righteous people. So, fellow college students, I understand we're away from our parents and have the freedom to do virtually whatever we want without them knowing, but show a little self-control and stop to think about things before you do them, thinking about the future and long-term values you have rather than tonight's party. By making good decisions now, you'll be happier with yourself, have more self-respect, and be a better all-around person. That's a whole lot better than winning a game of beer pong.

Our country is awesome. After watching America: the Story of Us on the History channel on Sunday (gosh, I'm turning more and more into my dad-Food Network, Travel Channel, next I'll be watching Modern Marvels: Concrete), I am just so into our country. I have always loved America, but this just brought it out even more. I was getting chills! It is a miracle our country is even a country and not a part of England. We were just a bunch of individual ragtag soldiers who went up against the biggest army in the world. We had no right to last a month let alone win the war! I guess it shows you what a little heart and determination will do for you. We knew what we wanted, we fought for a purpose, and we wouldn't quit. The British just got tired and were suffering too many losses for a cause that they forgot the reason of. By starting a country with a just war based on self-reliance, independence, determination, and equality, we engrained these characteristics within the very land of our nation. Even immigrants today who were not born here nor fought for our independence understand what this country is all about. That's why I hate the critics who live here and say how our country is terrible and that the "American dream" is unattainable and that people are worse off coming here. How false! Everyone here does not have a big house with a white picket fence, in fact a large majority do not have these things, but they are living the dream nonetheless. They have education for their children, a just legal system, a government that is not corrupt or completely crazy, and equal rights for all. That's a lot more than they could save from their home countries. Otherwise they wouldn't have bothered to come here. We are not perfect. We have our problems that we are continually trying to solve. But that's the beauty of it: there's room and opportunity for improvement! If we want something fixed, we can vote for it. It may be a slow process but if enough people want it, it will get done. We will always have complaints about our government, and we should because that is how change comes about, but we are truly the best place to be in the world. I don't say this in arrogance or fell that America should push other countries around as we may have done and continue to do, but just to speak up about the viewpoint that is often masked by the cloud of criticism and contempt that hangs over politics and the country as a whole: America is a actually an amazing place. Where else can you find as much diversity? Who else donates as much money to charity? Who else has such a diverse landscape and beautiful geography? No where. We should remember that next time we start to think about how awful our country is or how other countries just have it so much better. We are the land of the free and the home of the brave people! Love it

Idk, my bff rose

Blogging, texting, facebooking, or anything written through virtual means is funny business. It requires a certain rhetoric. I can not tell you how I have misinterpreted a text or had my own texts misinterpreted. For example, when I ask: "Yo Friend A what do you think about going to a movie tonight?" And they respond: "Ok." What am I to make of that? Are they excited, do they really want to go, when can they be there...I have no idea! Yes, girls analyze these things way too much (and boys are professionals at leaving vague texts or comments let me add), but come on people give me something to work with! That is why I insist on using winks, haha, jk's, lol's, or the lovable smiley face. Then people know exactly when you're coming, if something is meant to be a joke, or if you actually feel any sort of emotion about the topic you're talking about. It's just nice. Especially if it's a touchy subject or you aren't too close with the person and can't really ask for more clarification without sounding too desperate or needy. It's quite a tricky subject. So next time you text, do everyone a favor and add a little emotional abbreviation; it will make everyone happier :)

Dreams are seriously the best. There is nothing better than curling up in your bed (I could stop right there and the sentence would be true), closing your eyes, and entering into the wonderful world of your dreams. I usually have no particular path I want my dreams to take, I just hope they're interesting and that I can remember them. On average we have 4-6 dreams per night (got that from a USC website so I'd question it's legitimacy; USC is no Cal). Per night! If only I could remember each of these jewels... Although I love all dreams, flying dreams are by far my favorite. On a side note, something to know about me, if I could choose any superpower I would hands down choose to fly. First of all, I would be AMAZING at basketball because I could kind of hide it and "run" really fast down the court while really just gliding, I'd get every rebound and block every shot (just like usual (;), and maybe I could convince everyone that I can dunk just with my own mad hops. Second, I don't really want to hear other peoples thoughts, be a creepy invisible person, look at people with x-ray vision, take all the fun out of the future by being able to tell the future, I already have super strength, and why get super speed if I could have that already by flying? Third, just imagine standing on the ground and just being able to blast up into the air! Enough said. Flying is the greatest. SO, whenever I dream about flying, which is sadly a very rare occurrence, it is a GOOD night. Every time though towards the end of the dream, I start to lose my powers! It's absolutely awful and I wake up dejected and ashamed.

If flying is my favorite, my least favorite dreams are definitely those ones when you have to/want to run away from impending doom or just to start running and you just can't. You all know what I'm talking about. It's the most excruciating pain for my dreamself when she's trying to get those legs moving and they won't budge. I also have the same problem at times when I try to open my eyes in a dream, but they just won't open and I'm blind throughout the whole dream even though I still know subconsciously know what's going on. Not everyone may share that dream, but let me tell you it's just as bad as the running one. I don't even mind the dreams where you fall off something and wake up before you hit the ground because at least those are a rush. By the way, I heard from someone once (I think I know who it was, but I'll leave them out to save them the embarrassment (:) that if you actually hit the ground in your dream after you fall off of something that you die in real life. Now clearly this is foolishness. How could you prove something like that? Go question the dead man in his bed? No no.

No matter what dream I have, even those agonizing running ones, it is usually a good time and I can't wait to fall asleep every night. This is why I think alarm clocks are such devilish devices; the nerve of them to wake you up from this imaginative paradise! I suppose you have to go snap back to reality at some point, but it's nonetheless a cruel cruel little machine. To wrap up my rant on dreams, I leave you with this wonderful quote by the geniuses at Disney. Good night.

"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartaches. Whatever you wish for, you keep. Have faith in your dreams, and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dreams that you wish will come true."

P.S. Do not be a fool like me and take a nap from 715-930 PM. It is currently 150 AM and I am not even remotely tired. Oh dear. "Good night!"

Magic is a Bunch of Hocus Pocus

Last night I was flipping through the channels and nothing was really on, until I came across a magic show. Magic truely captivates me. It just makes no sense. And this guy was INCREDIBLE. If you have never seen David Blaine's Street Magic (or any of David Blaine's magic shows in general) you must. I was blown away. I know it all has to do with illusions and a whole lot of practice, but some of this stuff just blows the mind. In one of his stunts, he levitated. Yes, LEVITATED. What the?? At first I was like this is just a bunch of nonsense, but it was done just on the street in front of random people and their reactions were so so genuine that I had to believe it. Again, I don't believe this man actually levitated, but how do you fake that?!

I don't know how you can beat freaking levitation, but he just might with his card tricks. He is SUPERB. Just his shuffling amazes me. He can throw cards through the air and flip them and do basically anything with them. You MUST watch him. He flawlessly does common card tricks and adds his own flair. For one trick, he had a little girl pick a card out of the deck, sign it, and put it back in the middle of the deck. Then he shuffled it and started messing with her and asking her if different cards were her card even though he knew they weren't. Then he asked her if she took it. The little girl shook her head and started laughing, and he said: "No, you must've! Check your back pocket." The little girl looked in her back pocket and wouldn't you know it, there was her card. How the heck?! It just makes no sense to me and really confuses me. Maybe magic is real...

P.S. Check out this link to see some of his tricks...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdgKLrx_HXI&feature=related....and look at other ones while you're there!

Nighttime Madness

What is it about night time? I feel like a different person at night. Maybe it's because I'm a teenager (last year I can say that!) and I'm just more attuned to the later hours, but I am just full of energy and ideas at night. I make plans, I'm more adventurous, I'm willing to take risks (not life threatening risks, do you know me?), and want to go out and explore the world. I go to bed thrilled with the wonderful experiences I will have the next day. But something happens when I sleep. Because when I wake up in the morning, all of my plans go away. I have no motivation to carry through with my plans or explore the world or really get out of bed in general. Last night I planned on going on a 5 mile run through the hills to enjoy the sunshine, hear the birds chirping, and bask in the peaceful morning atmosphere. What happened? I heard my alarm go off, slapped it, and woke up two hours later. Last night I planned on having a really productive day where I would take the initiative and go out searching for jobs by going into different places and talking to the owners to see if they had any positions open. What happened the next day? I watched an hour of Sportscenter, laid on the floor watching a show about making over a home, chased my dog around the house, and wasted time surfing the internet until mid-afternoon. Last night I was super excited about going to a camp and was imagining how sociable and outgoing I'd be. That happened right? Wrong. I had to will myself out of bed and couldn't find anything to say at the early hour (Disclosure: I am very sociable once you get to know me and not a hermit by any means, but when I'm tired, hungry, or disgruntled and you're a stranger, be weary (:).

If I had the same mindset I have at night all the time, I would change the world. Let me tell you it would be awesome. I would be so much more productive, creative, and all around better. I'm getting better at spreading the wealth throughout the whole day rather than just at night, but it is definitely an effort. Maybe I should just take advantage of my increased brainpower at night time. As Catherine O'Hara said: "Night time is really the best time to work. All the ideas are there to be yours because everyone else is asleep." Well said, Ms. O'Hara, well said.

Transcendentalist Geniuses

Junior year of high school I was first introduced to a movement called the Transcendentalist movement. If you've never heard of it, look it up. It's amazing. Emerson, Thoreau, Dickinson, and Fuller were all Transcendentalists and man did they have good ideas. I'm a little bit of a dork (I have no problem admitting it), and I sometimes like to just ponder about life and talk about, think about, or write about deep things. It's really fun and soothing. Whenever I come across big concepts that make you think and where deeper meaning lies, I soak it up. Hence, my love for the transcendentalists. These people stepped outside the materialist lifestyle they found around them in the mid 1800s, and looked for deeper meaning and purpose in life. They were indeed spiritual, but didn't associate with particular religious groups or organized religions. Instead, they went out into nature and away from the hustle and bustle of the common world, and used the quiet bliss that surrounded them to just listen. Listen for something more. Listen for a deeper spirit that connects the world and all the things in it. In doing so, transcendentalists were looking to find themselves. They believed that within each of us is a soul that is close to a Deity and that the ideal spiritual state is realized only through one's own intuition; how we feel and think within ourselves without being influenced by outside forces. God gave humans the gifts of intuition, insight, and inspiration, so we should use them for ourselves to find truth in the world. All humans have access to this vast cove of spiritual enlightenment because it lies within their own soul. That is why many of the transcendentalists tried to completely escape society and plunge into nature alone or create utopias conducive to allowing for this type of isolation and ability to tap into their inner soul.

It all sounds maybe a little too deep, but I think these people were really getting at something. Humans all have the a certain sense of right and wrong and a compassion for one another (even if this fails from time to time) no matter what culture or area of the world they live in. There seems to be something connecting us all and I think it lies within us and that once we tap into that little soul within us we can discover who we truly are, what we are to do in this life, and really do good in the world. Although you may believe a different Deity provides this soul to us all than I do, I think if we all strive to find out more about this spirit if you will we will arrive at the same end. Even if we use different means to get there. Self-actualization is the first step, and, if this were to occur with us all, as Emerson writes: "We will walk on our own feet; we will work with our own hands; we will speak our own minds...A nation of men will for the first time exist, because each believes himself inspired by the Divine Soul which also inspires all men." So ladies and gentlemen, run out into nature and get to thinking!

I Never Want to Grow Up...

In the spirit of my birthday and all, I thought I'd blog about growing up. Doesn't it kind of stink? I totally know why Peter Pan decided to stay in Neverland forever and spend his days aimlessly flying around. Don't get me wrong there are a bunch of positives, but it's kind of sad to leave your childhood. Senior year of high school was probably the best year of my life thus far and now it's all over. Hanging out with your friends every day in school, seeing people you've grown up with in class every day, feeling a deep bond with your school through sports or whatever you were involved in, hanging out on weekends and throwing parties, prom, homecoming...it was all so fun! Then all of a sudden you're thrown into college where nobody knows your name, professors and classmates rarely know who you are, it takes a while to find friends and a place where you belong and it's just not the same as high school, you move out of the house and to a foreign place where you have to live on your own and find your way...what a shocker! I mean heck, I go from having my laundry done for me and lunches packed and ready for me every morning (thanks mom) to living on my own! Although those luxuries are missed, it's really just being away from my family and friends that stinks the most. Even though I still get to go home for summers (no other breaks really-stupid basketball), it just isn't the same because I'll never get to see these people every day really in the same intimate setting. Even living in my house is a little different because I'm living out of a suitcase now. What the heck??

All of that said (I like to focus on the positives, I swear, even when I rant about negatives like that), growing up has also been pretty cool. Being independent, having to find your own way, choose who you want to be and become, picking your path in life, and gaining new experiences and friends along the way has been an amazing time. Also having new perspective on things and seeing things outside the little realm of a high schooler. The world just opens up and it's cool to experience and think about things that are bigger than yourself. The world is filled with billions of other people in places and situations that you can't even imagine, and to be selfish or think you know a lot is just foolish. I'm still working on both of those things and have a ways to go, but just recognizing that fact is a huge step in itself. Although high school is behind me and it's time for me to learn how to be an adult, I'm really excited for the ride; my whole LIFE is ahead of me! I wonder what will happen...

Today I turn 19 years old! Very cool I know; it sounds so much older than 18 (so much younger than 20 though!). I had an amazing day filled with presents (thank you mom, dad and sister), exercise, meals with wonderful people, and a hilarious play; all of my favorite things and a wonderful day! Low-key birthdays with fun people are always amazing. So, thank you everyone for making today great!

Although I love birthdays, there are some things that maybe aren't the best. One thing is being sung happy birthday to. Does anyone actually like this tradition? For me, I never know really what to do: do I smile, do I laugh, do I look at everyone? It's just an uncomfortable time for the person who is supposed to enjoy the act. Next is opening presents in front of others. Another uncomfortable thing for me, the birthday girl. I usually love the presents and even if I didn't necessarily want/need them, I love the thought just as much, but my reactions never give my emotions justice and I just feel like my present givers are cheated. I promise everyone though, I love your present and the thought and just don't squeal and jump like others do. Just not my personality. Other things that aren't too kind to birthday boys or girls: punches for however many years you are turning, throwing birthday parties (for the younger generations, but nonetheless an event where you must spend tons of money to entertain people on YOUR birthday), turning another year older (bad for most people but luckily not too bad for my age group), and others. Thankfully I have been treated to wonderful birthdays by my loved ones and usually get spoiled, pampered, and made to feel like a queen, but for other unlucky souls it may be different. So, spare birthday boys and girls and give them a break on their one day of the year. They might return the favor when you're birthday rolls around.

A friendly reminder for us all...

...to be grateful for what we have!

Tasty Possibilities

I was really trying to avoid blogging about cooking - yes, Julie Powell you are DEFINITELY to blame - but I just love food so much I couldn't resist. Lately I've been watching a lot of the Food Network/Travel Channel (I take after my dad), and I just love the shows like Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives; Man vs. Food; and Food Wars. All of these shows travel around the country to little restaurants, bakeries, or cafes that are famous for their food. Today I watched an episode that featured Voodoo Donuts owned and operated by two guys who started off with a little bit of money and a dream. Now their little shop is thriving and people love their donuts that have an absurd amount of combinations like Triple Chocolate Penetration: a chocolate cake donut dipped in chocolate frosting and sprinkled with Cocoa Puffs, or the Memphis Mafia: a huge glazed donut covered with chocolate chips, banana, and peanut butter. How cool would it be to come up with creative combinations like that with delicious ingredients??

I think it would be the coolest thing ever to open my own restaurant, and, after I make my millions with a few sound investments (a sound life plan if I do say so myself), I am going to open a restaurant and be perfectly content. That's the plan at least. Opening a restaurant is a ton of work (so I've heard), but the people who do it just seem so happy and take pride in who and what they serve. It would be so cool to become famous in the neighborhood as the "best this" or "best that." Because a bakery is on the top of my list, I've secretly been saving good recipes that I've come across the past few years, and I have quite the collection. So, you're hearing it here first folks, my future bakery is going to be famous. If I find out how to cook, find wealthy investors, a perfect location, and a big customer base. Shouldn't be too hard right?

Key to Success

(I thought this picture was clever, considering the title (:)

In the spirit of my last post and with my general excitement in picking classes, thinking about careers, and dreaming about my future, today I'm talking about reading personalities and profitable skills. Sounds boring, yes, but it isn't trust me. I was talking to one of my friends yesterday and we started talking about how you don't have to be a genius to get a ton of money in this world, you just need certain skills. If you are sociable and able to make connections with people, get a big client base or network yourself correctly, you'll go far. It's a little unfair that it works out that way, but that's the way it is unless you're a Bill Gates genius who can revolutionize the world with a new product/technology. Since I have not thought of an ingenious invention yet (my brain is searching for ideas daily though don't you worry), it looks like I need to work on my people skills. Starting off as a shy, awkward girl who slumped down at the restaurant table when a group of waiters sang happy birthday to me attracting the eyes of the entire restaurant and drawing much too much attention (honestly family did you really have to put me through that torture??), I was slightly disadvantaged but have no fear, I'm making strides! Once I realized people aren't judging me and that I should just be comfortable with me and do my thing, it all went down hill from there. Ellen Degeneres talks about this in one of her stand-up skits (which you should DEFINITELY watch because it is absolutely hilarious! Ellen Degeneres: Here and Now, check it out on YouTube) where she says that people are so busy worrying about what everyone else is thinking that they have no time to think about and judge others. Totally true.

Other skills that are important to have are financial skills. These are the most under-taught skills! I got a financial aid packet that I had to fill out the other day and I took one look at it and couldn't decipher any of the acronyms or big words that stand for various forms and other things. Are we supposed to just know these things? Thank goodness we have dads to just hand these things over to and get them back magically filled out. And I haven't even begun to think about paying taxes, starting a 401k, choosing a mortgage, paying bills...mind boggling. That's how people get into trouble financially. They don't understand these things well enough and buy things on credit thinking everything will just work itself out and make risky decisions and just ruin themselves. If you master the system though and know how it works, you can be well off without too much work. And that's why I'm going into Finance! Well, not completely, but heck money doesn't hurt now does it?

Personality

Personalities have really interested me lately. Being a typical college student who is trying to find her way in life, solidify her interests, and choose what she wants to do with her life (why do we have to make so many decisions while we're so young??), I love hearing about personality tests that will help me find my way and make decisions for me. Maybe not the best way to go, but hey why not? For my Business Ethics class, our professor had us all take a personality test on the first day of class and I loved it. It was based on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) found here. It gives everyone an acronym that stands for their personality type, I am a ISTJ personality, and you can type those letters into Google and it will give you a long description about your personality and it is DEAD on. I found out so much about myself just by seeing my personality laid out in front of me and it was awesome. The test also tells you what things your personality type needs to improve upon and what you're good at and should exploit. What is probably the coolest thing about the test, especially for someone my age and why my professor had us take it, is that it tells you what career paths you will be most happy in. My professor is a big shot business guy who has a million jobs one of which is leading people to their ideal jobs. The first thing he always does is have them take a personality test because some people are just not meant to be in certain jobs even if their skills say otherwise. The test is just really beneficial and I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to learn more about themselves.

If people are comfortable with themselves and know who they are and like where they are, they can truly feel self-fulfillment. This is one of the lessons my professor taught me and I've really taken it to heart. I've always been good at math, but I don't think doing math all day would be a good environment for me even if I could make a lot of money doing it. Money is definitely important, but not the most important thing and what you want to do is find a balance between a good salary and happiness in your work. It is very rare that you will wake up in the morning and say "Yea, I get to go to work today!" (as my dad always reminds me), but you should not be miserable and so it is important to find a place where you belong. Finding out more about your personality just may be the key to that.

P.S. I believe you have to pay for the other test that I linked to, so here's another one that I haven't tried personally but that also uses the Myers-Briggs model and might be helpful. http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

Eat Meat

I have never understood the vegan movement. Vegetarians already confused me, but vegans absolutely amaze me. You can't eat ANYTHING. And what is so bad about eating meat? Is that not what people have done for millennia and how the natural food chain goes? I understand that we don't keep our livestock in entirely humane conditions, but could you not eat free-range meat or hormone-free products? What's kind of funny about the whole thing is vegetarians will not eat meat with a nine-foot pole, but they're all over the mac and cheese made from cows forcefully milked in a crammed barn. Now that doesn't seem to make sense! I figure if you're going to take a stand you might as well take a stand.

That's where vegans come in. These people are dedicated. One of my teammates in high school is a vegan and she literally eats nothing even related to animals. No Kraft mac and cheese, no chocolate chip cookies, no Cheetos, no Teddy Grahams, no anything! What a terrible terrible life. A vegan's rationale at least makes more sense to me because they are completely against the inhumane treatment of animals and don't eat meat because of it. But then, while I was watching Ellen the other day, she mentioned she was a vegan which is something I did not know about her. She was talking to a guest who was also a vegan and they were saying how much they loved it and Ellen said "yeah it's just great and so environmentally conscious.." Hold up, what? Environmentally conscious, really? Combining all the odd ingredients and artificial things in a big factory with crazy equipment is a whole lot more complicated and polluting than simply killing a chicken for meat (reminds me a little of the recycling craze where it takes more energy to create recycled goods than normal ones).

Being a vegetarian or a vegan has definitely less to do with the animals and the rationale that vegetarians/vegans use to defend their lifestyle, and more to do with attention and "taking a social stand." All of that said, I don't hate people who are vegetarians, a few of my cousins and my friend I mentioned earlier are vegetarians, I just don't fully agree with their logic. I think we should be less wasteful and cruel to animals as well as the environment, but there is no need to take such a stand and think you are doing the world a service. After all, aren't plants "living things" as well? What a cruel, cruel thing to kill so many.

Grammer stinks whomever you are

That video is not only a classic Office moment, but it also touches on my all-time least favorite subject in school, grammar. It is such a confusing, BORING subject that I suppose is necessary, but I I would rather just learn through experience than have to gruel through grammar rules in school. In fact, I used to not even know how to spell the word and would always put "grammer" and my teachers would always correct it and chuckle to themselves over the irony I'm sure. Going back to the video, I have NEVER been able to tell when to use who vs. whom. It's impossible to tell I think and I agree with Creed that whom is a made up word to trick students.

Even in SPANISH I had trouble with grammar! Preterite and imperfect? Yeah, never understood it. I just guessed every time and got about a 60% on the quiz which I thought was pretty good considering the odds. My only B in all of high school was in Spanish IV a result of not being able to understand, you guessed it, grammar. Obnoxious. Who needs two forms of the past tense anyways? Where was I on Saturday? I WAS in California. I use "was" whether I was there for a week or permanently there, there is no change in verbs. That's how it should be.

I talk all this trash about grammar but if someone uses a word incorrectly or picks the improper form do I correct them? You bettcha. More of a habit and a tease I'd say, but still something that I often do. Call me a hypocrite or what you may, but it's kind of fun you should try it some time. Even if you're not right people will usually just go with it. No one likes grammar.

P.S. Thanks Kayle for passing along the video. By the way, whilst is a great word no matter what you say!

Politics

I have never been too wrapped up in politics, they've always seemed too complicated and bored me a little bit, but now I feel like I should be more educated in what's going on in our country and where I stand on certain issues. I don't like to label myself as a Republican or a Democrat because I don't think people should vote on things just because a certain party does, but rather look at each issue objectively and then make your decision based on what YOU think, not a certain party. I was watching both Fox News and MSNBC yesterday, and all they did was talk about how the other guy is wrong. The actual issues took a backseat while they talked about how the other guy was an idiot for thinking that way and anyone in their right mind would think those people were absolutely crazy. I literally went from watching Chris Matthews talk about how Glen Beck was out of his mind, to switching to Fox News only to hear Glen Beck talk about how Chris Matthews is a liar! It's all just a great big game of point the finger.

That's what I think is wrong with our political system. It has become less about serving the people and more about cutting down the other side while bolstering your party's agenda. Can't we find a middle ground? I definitely take a conservative approach to politics, but I don't really like how the GOP portrays itself as a party full of rednecks and bigots. At the same time though, Democrats are too liberal minded and although their intentions are sometimes honorable, they often lead to excessive spending and inefficient policies. So which do I choose? I end up having to side with a candidate that I don't agree fully with, but at least he/she is better than the other guy/lady. There has to be another way. If we erased the hard line between Republicans and Democrats, we would start to see candidates who are true to policies based on what they think is right, no matter if that includes some conservative social stances yet liberal monetary policy. We would see a broader range of people running for office that more fully represent the people and their interests, not just a party's agenda.

But, what do I know? I'm just a 18-year-old college student who is just being introduced to the political spectrum. America has been a two party system all the way back to Hamilton and Jefferson, and we seem to have done pretty well for ourselves thus far. Maybe opening the field to more candidates would just lead to a small minority gaining power and an even lesser representation of what America really wants. Oh well, it's all just too complicated.

Hey batter batter

Ladies and gentlemen, baseball season is in full swing! (Pun completely welcomed and intended) I am currently watching the Giants dominate the Astros 3-0 going into the top of the 7th and it is wonderful. You miss the crack of the bat and boys in cute uniforms after six months without them (seven months for the Giants)! Although some people find baseball games slow and boring, I just love them. I could always watch a baseball game, especially live, and fully enjoy myself. Well, only Giants or Red Sox games (maybe even the Phillies now, but just maybe); the rest of the teams don't matter as much. Baseball is just so American. Sitting in a ballpark in the summer, eating a hot dog with your ballcap on, enjoying the sunshine and people around you...there's just nothing better.

For me, as I've mentioned before, the Giants are just so much more special. I went to a ton of A's games when I was younger because my mom works for the newspaper and got free tickets (after all these years we STILL don't get free Giants' tickets. A darn shame I know), but it was just never the same. The fans, the stadium, the team, just none of it compared to the wonderful San Francisco Giants. Going to SBC Park and donning the orange and black while watching the G-Men take the field is just SO much better. Maybe I'm biased because my dad is from San Francisco and raised us as 49er and Giants fans, but honestly, what team is better??

A bright, sunshiney day!

There's something about the sun that just makes everything better. Have you noticed that? No matter how bad your day is going or what is happening in your life, being out in the glorious sunshine on a bright, warm day just makes all your worries go away. There's a reason why Florida, Hawaii, and the Bahamas are all popular vacation spots...Sunshine! The best way to realize how amazing sunshine and warmth really are, is to go without them for long periods of time. E.g. Move from glorious Walnut Creek, CA to Bethlehem, PA. Sure, we've had some sunshine here the last few months, but it has only been between bouts of monstrous snow/rainstorms and even when it comes out it doesn't count because it's accompanied by 30 degree weather. I much prefer California "winters" with our chilly mornings and evenings that can be spent by a fire reading a book underneath a blanket, but where you can also get away with just wearing a t-shirt and jeans out without freezing and won't lose your limbs if you go running outside. It's just a better place.

All that said, it is a GORGEOUS day here on the east coast. A blissful 72 degrees with only a little humidity, flowers are in bloom, and hopefully the cold weather will stay away! I must say though that grueling through miserable weather for 5 months makes spring and summer that much sweeter!

Amazing Courage

This is going to sound like a random post and I suppose it is, but one that is necessary nonetheless. My English class this semester is about "Mapping" and our current section is about mapping one's self. We read Julie and Julia - I won't rant about Julie Powell here, I've talked about her much more than I'd like to - and looked at blogs and why people write them/read them. My paper for this unit looks at different diary/blog writers throughout the centuries and how writing gave meaning to their life. One person I stumbled across in my research was Anne Frank. This girl was AMAZING. We all read her diary in grade school and know her story and hopefully how truly incredible her story is. This was a girl who at 13 years old was put through absolute hell and found her only source of stability and happiness in her diary "Kitty." She poured her heart and soul into it and showed such courage in a terrible terrible time in history. Take a look at this excerpt:

"I haven't written for a few days, because I wanted first of all to think about my diary. It's an odd idea for someone like me to keep a diary; not only because I have never done so before, but because it seems to me that neither I - nor for that matter anyone else - will be interested in the unbosomings of a thirteen-year-old schoolgirl. Still, what does that matter? I want to write, but more than that, I want to bring out all kinds of things that lie buried deep in my heart." (from The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank, 1952)

Because she had to experience things that no child (or adult for that matter) should ever have to, Anne was much older than her age. She had no idea that her writings would be published for all the world to see, and that's what makes them so pure, honest, and sincere. I couldn't even imagine living through what she lived through, but she still found the time to talk about crushes and the normal happenings of a teenage girl. Being reminded of her story just helps you put your life in perspective and see the little, good things in life. Anne Frank was truly an awesome girl.

Fit as a Fiddle

This summer I want to get fit. As in basketball pro, looks amazing in a bathing suit, you could grate cheese on those abbs fit. That's why I am debating doing this...

or this...

or even...

(Just kidding about that last one (:)
I am tired of not feeling my fastest/strongest/hottest and it's time to do something about it! I can't wait to come home to just turn my life around and get to work. It's going to be a struggle no doubt, but with the right mindset - and my mom's constant questioning of "Are you sure you want to eat that?" - I should be able to do it. I want to come back to school next year to amazed ohs and ahs from my teammates from how good I look and hopefully how well I play on the court. I'm thinking of doing two-a-day workouts everyday; one swimming workout in the morning and one weight training/basketball workout in the afternoon. Hopefully I will be able to keep up with this workload, stick to my Weight Watcher's regime (it's a family affair for the Petersons this summer!) and be on the path to a fit body. Look out world here I come!

P.S. Any suggestions or tips how I can reach my goal? Know any trainers/diets/exercise routines? Please let me know :)

Housing Mayhem

The Lehigh housing lottery is a mess. A drama-filled, hectic, political mess. Not that it has to be, but we all make it one (or at least I do in my own head). What happens is Lehigh assigns us all random numbers, which came out this morning, and you can either pick quad/apartment-style housing or regular dorm housing. Then we all go into a large lecture hall and the housing people start calling the numbers in order, and like a big BINGO game, we watch as people choose a room and cross it off on our little diagrams of the buildings. It is going to be a madhouse. Obviously most people want quad style housing and you have no hope of getting one unless you have a number lower than about 100. If you are one of the lucky few with such a low number, you can pick a quad and bring your three friends into it and live happily ever after. However, if you are not one of the lucky few, you get stuck in traditional dorm housing. How did I do you ask? I got number 564. There are only 648 possible numbers. I am THAT lucky. Unfortunately all of the athletes that I know also got bad numbers and will be in my same boat so I can't really cling on to them. We have all pretty much decided on the fact that we are going to live in a floor on Drinker (a terrible name for a college dorm I know) and whoever is lucky enough to get a single we will all hate and shun for a little bit but then get over it.

So now that leaves the question, who to room with? Everyone I asked is so vague about the whole process which leads me to one of my biggest pet peeves. I hate to harp on negative things and think it brings only more negative things, but since I brought it up I must continue. I am a planner. I like to get things settled right away and see them through. I am also a very trusting person, so when someone tells me they are going to do something I think they are going to do it. Unfortunately not everyone is a planner. I have found this out the hard way many times, and the housing process is yet another example. I've been asking around seeing what everyone wants to do and no one will give me straight answers or get my hopes up and say that they want to do a certain thing but then change their minds like nothing happened. It gets a little frustrating. Fortunately, their are good people in the world like one of my basketball teammates who said if she doesn't get a single (we've all come to an agreement that anyone who can get a single should take it by all means. We all understand. We'd all do it), she will pull me in as her roommate in Drinker. It was so nice of her and she was upfront about it and I definitely appreciated it. Since everything depends on what everyone else picks, there are going to be a lot of spur of the moment decisions, so I'm just going to stop worrying about it and hope for the best. Very hard to do for a planner...

Unparalled

Before I finish my blogging for the night, and keeping to the same category, I wanted to give a quick shout out to the Uconn Women's Basketball team. You are INSANE. Women's sports has not seen anything like this ever, and if they keep winning and pass UCLA men's record of 88 straight wins, all of sports will have seen nothing like this. They are currently at 74 straight wins and with Miya Moore and Tina Charles only juniors, they are going to win a whole lot more. In the three games they've played in the NCAA tournament thus far, they could have used only their first half scores and still beaten their opponent's full game score. That is unheard of. They are simply amazing and although it makes women's college basketball a little anti-climatic, they sure are fun to watch (also makes losing in the tournament a little easier to swallow since, let's be honest, everyone else is ultimately going to lose too).

Taking the boys to school

I LOVE playing pickup basketball with boys at the gym. This is how it goes down (based on my experience last Friday which is exemplary): I'm shooting hoops by myself, working on some moves, shooting, dribbling it up and down the court, and then some guys come in and start shooting around on the other side. More guys keep trickling in until there's 7 or 9 and they realize they need another player. A couple of them will start to casually watch me shoot around, draining threes and pull-up jumpers of course, and then they decide that I seem to be able to play and they ask if I'd like to join. I used to decline and continue on with my shooting, but lately I've been saying yes and it's been a lot of fun. We shoot for teams and everyone is amazed when I make the shot and get on the team with the "good guys" and heckle their friends a little bit because a girl beat them out. Oh guys, this is only the beginning.

Then we start to play and I kind of just run along, play some defense, run the floor and make some good passes to start. My defender always sags off of me at the beginning because they think there's absolutely no way I will shoot it. Little do they know. About the third time down the court I catch the ball on the wing, pull through, and notice my defender is yet again three feet off of me. I pretend to look for an open man, square up and let her fly. Swish. My teammates are all AMAZED that a girl can make a shot (with a guy's ball mind you) and congratulate me a little too much. As the game went on I ended up stealing the ball from the guy I was guarding (same guy that was guarding me) in the open court and taking it down for a layup, BLOCKING HIM when he drove to the basket (man did he get heckled for that one), posting him up and hitting a right-hand hook, and shooting a couple more threes in his eye. Poor guy.

Afterward when we were getting water, everyone was introducing themselves and one guy asked if I was on the women's basketball team. Then the guy who guarded me responded: Yeah you crushed my hopes of ever playing division 1 women's basketball! It was so funny and he was such a good sport about it. Although I enjoy schooling boys on the court, I would enjoy it even more if pickup led to some off-court hanging out...basketball players are cute! Hopefully my mad skills won't drive them away. Maybe I should take it easy on them...

Life of a Rockstar

(Yes, that is Stephan Jenkins the lead singer right there. I was THAT close.)

The Third Eye Blind concert tonight was AMAZING. It was in a small little venue in Allentown and I was literally 20 ft. from them which made the whole thing even better. I'm not a diehard TEB fan or anything but every knows a few of their songs from the late 90s (Jumper, How's it Going to Be, Never Let You Go, Semi-Charmed Life, etc.) and I loved their new stuff I heard tonight. Everyone was packed into the club and we all nodded our heads, jumped up and down, and threw our hands in the air like you must do at a rock concert and it was great. I went with Alex and Diz and that made it all even that much more fun since those two are the greatest and awesome to be around.

The whole experience made me think of how awesome it would be to be a rockstar. Imagine the thrill you'd get from going on that stage every night and having people sing along with you and love anything you do. You're basically just having a party every night, traveling the world, and making memories (along with millions). It would be quite a life. Think of Taylor Swift. She is 20 years old, has a world tour, writes her own music, plays guitar/piano/sings, dated Taylor Lautner, won a few Grammys...pretty normal right? It would be an awesome life. I don't know if I could keep up with all the fans and paparazzi all the time though. It would get old fast. That's why I stuck with basketball; athletes get the fame and money while still being able to live a pretty normal life (not that I'm turning away cameramen at my door or anything). I am still a little upset at my mom though for not letting me get a drum set or a guitar growing up. Still a sore spot along with my trampoline and hot tub.