I think when your body is overwhelmed with too many emotions all at once, they start to void each other; they cancel themselves out. Then you get to a place where you just don't know what to think or how to describe this emotion, because you kind of feel nothing. That's where I am right now. I still haven't come to accept that what just happened actually just happened, and this might be my main problem, but it just doesn't feel, REAL. I just went on the rockiest roller coaster of my life that involved nerves, excitement, anticipation, joy, panic, anxiety, disbelief, and then, just to end with a bang, a sucker punch of sadness. With all these feelings in my heart, my mind just couldn't take them all in, so right now I kind of just am.
One thing you can feel in a time like this though is love. That's one feeling that can trump the rest and squeeze through when you need it most. It wasn't supposed to happen like that. It wasn't supposed to end this way. We weren't supposed to face this surprise ending. But it did and we are. And you know what, as much as it may hurt/sting/disgust/torment, I'm happy I did it. I love my life and these girls I get to share it with. No matter what the outcome of this game or season, this group of girls was special and I consider this year a HUGE success. Why? Because I came to love 15 other girls more than I ever imagined and had the best year of my life. This was a special group that knew how to have an amazing time and they will always have a special place in my heart.
So maybe it didn't end the way we planned, but it may have brought us even closer together; crying, hugging, and loving have a way of doing that. This was a special year, and one that I will never forget.
Take me to that old familiar place
Take me to memories we won’t erase
Take me to all that we had
Good and the bad
I’ll never forget you
I’ll never let you go
I’ll never forget you
I’ll always remember, I hope you know
